Been 18 days since I gave you a dope blog to step to….

So what’s up folks? For myself & Eva, we’re just chilling in Redmond, OR for the next few days. My lovely, best friend Rebby was kind enough to invite us to her home this summer. And how does one NOT leave the beach & a moderate 65 degrees, for the blistering heat, dust boogers & fantastic Boneyard brewery of central Oregon? In case you’re wondering, I don’t have A/C in my truck. It ran out just as I was moving to the beach 2+ years ago. I just never bothered to refill it; Doesn’t get hot enough to use it where I live. Let me tell you this: Around Mt. Hood, it hit 75 degrees on the vehicle thermostat. That 75 degrees never felt so suffocating before in my life! And y’all that know me, know I don’t just perspire. I SWEAT! Thank goodness for this “natural” & “organic” deodorant from Fred Meyer. Speaking of sweating my ass off….

Kevin & Rebby took us to MY favorite brewery: Boneyard. Kevin can drive me anywhere! “Aggressively defensive,” is what I call it. Others might say “Offensively Aggressive.” I know this much though: Riding with Kevin will get me where I need to be & on time…. So I decide to “cheat” on my self-imposed diet a lil bit & enjoy some habanero wings while at the brew pub. That was stupid. I didn’t enjoy them until I was finished eating them. I haven’t had that much spice on food in over a month. One wing in & my face is glistening like “Edward in sunlight….” Kevin ate a wing. It was pretty damn warm to him too. Eva ate a wing, at the suggestion of Rebby. Didn’t drip one drop of sweat. I think she ate the wing with a smile, just to embarrass me. She cheated though. She didn’t bite into the wing like a man. She picked at it; Stripping the meat from the bone, so as to never get the “napalm sauce” on her lips. Well-played “Eva-Bear!”

So “Equalizer 2” was pretty entertaining. Slow-moving, no doubt. But overall, I’d give it a solid “B.” But I’m not “Siskel” or “Ebert.” That Marvel creation, “Ant-Man & The Wasp,” was just “O.K.” Had some funny parts, as most of those genre do. But yeah…. “O.K.”

Some days I wonder: Should I just be “Dad?” It’s easier, safe & less complicated….Right?

Mailed in my child support hearing stuff….Evidence…Discovery. Whatever you want to refer to it as. I’m just glad we’re onto the final stage next. I’m tired of fighting/arguing/debating with stupid muthafuckas. Seriously. I did take my brother’s suggestion though & meditated several times over the last week. Amazing feeling to process your thoughts & sort through shit. It really makes for better decision-making. (Remember those last two sentences folks.)

Did I mention I saw a bicycle shop in Redmond & got really excited? REALLY EXCITED. Kidding. But it will make for an adventurous bike ride tomorrow morning. I need some biker pants/shorts with butt-pads…. For 2 obvious reasons: 1.) I have a nice ass. 2.) YOU like my nice ass. In all honesty, I want to bike this canyon (I forgot the name), Rebby told me about. And I kind of want to do it while it’s 100 degrees or more. Just to see if I can do it. It’s not a workout if you aren’t sweating!

This post is kind of all over the place. But can I just say: Rebby, Kevin & Siri are absolutely amazing & I love the hell out of them! Funny, gracious hosts & most importantly, family.

So since beginning this bicycling thing on a consistent basis a year ago (July ’17), I’ve developed this fear of being mauled by an enormous cat. I’m not worried about a bear chasing me down- Nice try “Baloo.” But I can hit 20mph without the wind at my back & keep it there for miles. What you got? I’m not worried about a skiddish coyote. Not even worried about a vehicle hitting me…. Most times & depending on weather conditions. But I am not going to out-pedal a feline that wants to crush my skull with its teeth. Low & behold, last week or so, I had an encounter with a baby black bear. One in which I almost took my phone out for a picture. Instead, I decided to keep pedaling. There was a “Momma-bear” somewhere. Later on in the ride, I was sandwiched between a Kia & an F350 towing an RV. Shit… I may have found R.E.M.’s lost religon! “Holy fuck! Oh God,” repeatedly was all I could say until the danger passed.

231.34 miles logged on the bicycle this month. August, I’m going for 250!

“Shoot for the stars, so if you fall short, you land in the clouds.”-Kanye West

Be well y’all. I gotta get some sleep. Thanks for your time.


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